"True friendships are lasting because true love is eternal. A friendship where heart speaks to heart is a gift from God, and no gift that comes from God is temporary or occasional." ~Henri J.M. Nouwen
This quote was given to me a long time ago by someone who used to be a very close friend of mine but that I have not spoken to in over a year now. When I ran across this it made my head start spinning and many memories and special moments come flooding back. I began thinking about the friendships I have now and comparing them to friendships and relationships I have had in the past. Everything changes so quickly and time flies by when we are not paying attention. Special moments slip through our grasp as we go about our busy lives, not stopping to consider that a moment like that, with that one person, may never be ours again. I feel that what I have learned from my past has only let me become bitter towards my future. I hold grudges instead of kind memories, think hateful words instead of doing forgiving gestures. People I call my friends now, I hold back on because I do not want people to see me for who I really am, that way when something in life happens and I am called to move on from a friend, I am not hurt or disappointed that it has to be over.
I struggle with the quote I first listed because it says that a friendship where heart can speak to heart is a gift from God and that those gifts are not temporary, yet the person who showed me this quote and who I held in my mind at the time as my best friend is no longer in my life. If God's gifts to us are not temporary or occasional, then what good thing came out of another good thing ending did I not see? Something must have come to take its place and show me that God is really watching out for me even when worldly relationships and friendships fail us. I feel like I will never understand God's methods or why this world has to see such sin as it does every day.
I guess some people would just say it has to come down to faith and trusting that God really does have our best interest in mind. Maybe God realizes that while we have certain friends or are in certain relationships, we are closed off to having a personal relationship with Him which is what really should come first. Until our worldly friendship was no longer there we would never realize our desperate need for God. Maybe after we take time to build our one-on-one relationship with God, He would see it fit to give us back our other friendships. But then again, maybe not. In Philippians 4:6-7 it says that we are to "be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Even though it is probably the hardest thing for us to do as humans, we do not need to worry about what our future holds. We can let God know what we desire but then we have to sit back and have faith that He really does have it all worked out. He will give us peace about whatever is on our hearts if we will just let Him. Psalm 37:4 says to "Delight yourself also in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart." What we may think we want may not be what is actually best for us or what we truly deep down think we desire. I know that I need to work on my personal relationship with God instead of putting so much time and effort into relationships with people that will just end up getting in the way of what God really has in store for me. I am not saying to avoid having good friendships but just to make sure that the most important one of all, the one between me and my Savior, is coming first every day.
Needless to say, this post became a lot longer than I expected it to be but my thoughts are less of a mess now that I have sat here and put them out for people to see.
